EP85 Our Needs – Food Shelter and (what I learned this weekend)
In today’s episode I talk about the importance of community.
[0:00:12.9] KC: Welcome to the Business of Life Podcast. My name is Keith Callahan, your host and today, we’re talking about the importance of community, why community is so important and I’m going to ask you just to pause for a second. Don’t turn this episode off because I know that this is a topic that it’s not one of those sexy topics and it’s not that appealing in the beginning but I want to just share a few stories and this piece really hit me.
It hit me hard this weekend. I was driving to New Jersey for Amy’s sister’s daughter, my niece, for her first birthday and when I was driving down there, I was listening to one of the TED podcast. They have a podcast called The TED Hour and this episode was specifically about Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, if you haven’t heard of it, you can go ahead and Google it.
But one of the reasons that I knew him, well, it wasn’t necessarily from his hierarchy of needs immediately. It was because I knew that he was Wayne Dyer’s teacher. He was who Wayne Dyer really based his life off of and the hierarchy of needs, the big pinnacle of it is self-actualization. So I’m just going to read off, there’s five levels of it and it’s the pyramid.
So at the bottom of the pyramid, the basic needs or the physiological needs and that’s food, water, shelter, rest and things like that. So basic physiological needs is that in safety and what he’s saying is you can’t move to the next level unless you have the first thing taken care off. So once you get your food, water, shelter and all of that, then the next thing you really think about is our safety.
We can’t move past safety, we can’t move up to the next level until we actually feel safe, right? because if you don’t feel safe, you don’t move up to the next level but the next level is what he calls love and belonging and that’s the one we’re going to be focusing on today. Then it goes onto esteem and self-actualization.
So I am listening to this TED talk and I’m driving down the road and they get to the third piece, the love and belonging piece and so many things clicked for me when I heard about this and when I heard about the importance of community. So the story that he told was the piece that it just really got to me and so he was talking about the importance of community and the importance of belonging.
Within that, just started getting into a story about the military and I don’t remember the exact details about the military but he started sharing about if we look back as to how we’re wired, we’re wired to be in clans of 20, 30, 40 people and with that, the needs of the community, the needs of the clan, the needs of that group end up becoming more than our own needs.
Because right now, the way that things really are in our western society, in the United States, is we have our families and that’s become our sense of community but that’s it and men are sort of off by themselves and women are off by themselves and then we have the children but 1,000 years ago or so, the community is much deeper than that. It was much more interdependent on each other.
So anyways, he starts telling this story about how they followed this group and there was a platoon in Afghanistan and they were on the front lines. They were a group who was taking the heaviest fire, they had the most casualties, it was heavy, heavy duty stuff and there was about 30 guys. For anybody that’s in the military, I apologize if I am not giving the exact right numbers or words in describing this but yeah, I think the information or the piece to how we’re wired and what we’re looking for in community or what we need that we don’t even know, I think that this story really does a good job.
So again, I apologize for not using the right phrases or words or exact numbers but — so there is this group of men fighting over in Afghanistan and they get back from their tour and now they are all being assimilated into everyday life, into normal life and there’s a therapist who is working with all of them and these guys had seen it all, right? They had killed people, they had seen friends killed, their bodies are just totally and emotionally wrecked from this and they saw it all, like everything that you can imagine with war and a lot more than that.
So they start it all and the therapist realized what she was dealing with when she was working with one of the men and she asked him, “What do you miss the most, if anything, what do you missed most about being over there?” And this one guy, he paused and he thought about it for a long time and he said, “Everything. I miss everything about it,” and it doesn’t make sense to him. It doesn’t make sense to any of these guys who are coming back because they want to come back and they want to re-assimilate back into society.
They want to be good husbands, they want to be good fathers, they want to just re-assimilate and it’s so devastating too and I am using the stereotypical male away at war and woman home but it’s so devastating to women when your husband comes home from war and he can’t be present with you and he actually would prefer to be somewhere else.
So anyways, they started really looking into this and really studying what is the reason for that? And they started really talking to these guys deeper and deeper and deeper and it’s that sense of belonging. So all their basic needs are met but they’re a part of this community and the adrenalin that comes along with it and just everything that comes along with being at war.
The deepest thing, even though there’s all that other stuff that goes along with it, there’s killing, there’s the atrocities that they’ve seen, there is just everything that goes along with that right? Even though all of that is there, there’s a sense of purpose. There is a sense of belonging, there is a sense of meaning and you’re not really out there making decisions for yourself.
You’re out there in a communal community centered type atmosphere where the most important thing to you is your brother to the left and your brother to the right. The only thing that matters to you, right? And that’s what these guys missed and that’s what they longed for. There was such a sense of belonging and such a sense of purpose.
So as I was listening to that, I was listening to that and I was thinking back about times in my life and there were a few times where there were things like I would change the situation but I really missed the situation itself. So I had that thought and then the second thought I had was, “Okay, so these men that come out of war, what are the ones that are successful? What things are they doing,” right?
So they come out of these wars and there are some that are successful and when I am using the word successful like they go on, they continue on with a meaningful life. They’re able to get some stability back in their life, get some vibrancy, get some self-worth back, get some sense of purpose back in their life. It’s that they get involved with a cause again. They get involve with something and it’s not necessarily just the family that’s getting involved with something big where there’s community.
So I’m circling back to that word because this podcast, in a whole, is about creating the best life for yourself, right? And the reason I wanted to do this episode, the reason I wanted to bring this up, this is really new to me. I’ve understood community to a certain extent but the stuff I am sharing on today’s episode, it’s just so new and I’m really just presenting it in a manner sharing with you this is something that I am thinking about and I wanted to bring it up because it’s something that I think is worth you thinking about.
So you can start by listening to that TED talk, again it was on Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. But for me, I believe that once I’ve identified, “Okay this is something that I want to put a lot more effort into,” then the house takes care of itself. So for me over this weekend, what really landed and what I’m really working with now is I’m at a point that I have been involved with many communities and I’ve done a lot of work.
Some of them I’m less involved with than others right now, some of them I’m still really involved with but I really understood that — so I have been looking to make some changes in my life and I have been looking at what’s my next step past Beachbody? Even though I do a ton of work with Beachbody, I’ll continue to do a ton of work with Beachbody, but what’s my next step? What’s past all of that? Where am I going once all of that is done?
That’s kind of starting now and it’s an evolution piece and there’s been thoughts about teaching, there’s been thoughts about meditation, there’s been thoughts about teaching people how to create their ideal life, there’s been thoughts about moving into areas and realms of investments and stuff like that. But one of the things that I am really landing on now is, a big piece of it is the community that I’m building and being more actively involved in the community.
Being more actively involved with just people and building something and focusing on something that’s bigger than what’s in it for the people that I work with, what’s in it for my family? What am I doing whenever I’m at work? I am focused on those people, helping those people. Whenever I’m with my family, I am focused on being in service that way, but this is a bigger piece than being in service. It’s being a part of something that’s bigger than yourself. And for me, I had that with Beachbody. I had that in the beginning.
I love the community and I still do. I still love that community piece of it but I feel like I am moving into different directions and I am doing more things than just the Beachbody piece and I’ll be honest, that piece is still a huge — that is still my community right now. My community is that. I have one foot in the door with Beachbody, I have one foot in the door with my spiritual path, I have one foot in the door with the yoga community in my area, in the New England area and one foot in the door with the community of the town that I live in but even more specific than that, with the school that my kids are in.
So yeah, I apologize that there is no clear direction with this. The only piece that I know is it’s really developing a deeper sense of the community piece and building something, working with the group to do something that’s just deep like on a deep, deep level. Another example that will really help you to ground this piece in and this is one that really helped me to ground this piece in.
A friend of mine, Ralph Gates, who I interviewed on a previous episode, in his adult life he has three communities and he was an Army Ranger. So we had already talked about that community and then at the time when he was doing work then, he was an active alcoholic and right at the end of his active duty, he realized he was an alcoholic.
So I don’t know how long while he was in the military, he actually stopped drinking and then right when he got out, he went to grad school and he also joined AA right away and he shared with me that AA became his community. So he transitioned from one community, military, into another community, AA. That became who he was.
So as he was going through his days and as he was going through his weeks and his months and his years, he was a part of a community and if you don’t know AA, it’s an amazing system and structure and way of being. So he plugged into that community, he plugged into the people in that community and it was for a very long period of time and then he started teaching yoga and then eventually teaching meditation and that’s his community now. But he has deep ties in this communities, deep relationships, just really a deeper sense of purpose and a deeper sense of connection.
I just loved listening to that story and really it gave me that visual. So for myself, just bringing this all back home, I’m the type of person that I can tend to isolate myself. I can tend to want to be alone. I can tend to want to do things by myself and I’m finally fully getting the community piece and it’s just there. It’s marinating right now and I’ve had so much community and I have so much community but there’s a difference between having it and being an active member in it.
So I just wanted to share that with you because it was something that has a lot of insight that I got this weekend. I just wanted to share a process that I am going through and that I’m working through for myself and for all of those who are listening right now that I am a piece of your community. I am within the community with you.
I just want to say that I am grateful for each and every one of you and yeah, I really am grateful for the communities that I am a part of and I am looking to really nurture that deeper involvement in the community. So that is all for today. Have a beautiful, beautiful day. Have a beautiful week and I’ll catch you on the next episode.
[00:18:06.7] KC: Hey, Keith here, and today I have a free gift for you. Listen this free gift is a list of the 12 most influential books that I’ve ever read. These are the books that have helped me to create the mindset, learn the philosophies, learn the skills to really create this big, beautiful, life that we’re living now.
I read a crazy amount of books, I really do. I’ve probably read thousands of books and these are the top 12 books that – they’re the ones that I go to, they’re the ones that I work with over, and over, and over again. They are highlighted, outlined, dog-eared. And I put this list together for you because I want it to be a shortcut.
I don’t want you to have to – you don’t have to go out and read the thousands and thousands of books. These are the 12 that I highly recommend. I have a detailed review for each book, explaining why I recommend them, why I like them, when I worked with them in my life, what part of my life they helped me to improve.
So I put this together for you, and made it super each for you to get this list. All you have to do is send a text to the number 33444 and then in the body of that text, type in “12books” with no space. So that’s the number “12books”. Again, send the text message to the number, address it to 33444 and then type in “12books” as the message and just send that. And that’ll get you setup to receive those top 12 most influential books that have had the biggest impact on my life.
[00:20:10.7] KC: Today’s episode is brought to you by our sister podcast, All About Beachbody Coaching. So All About Beachbody Coaching really allows us to do this podcast without having all those annoying commercials in the beginning for you. So All About Beachbody Coaching, the Beachbody business that Amy and I run, actually funds this podcast.
So yes, it does cost money to run this podcast, we do not charge you anything, we don’t throw in commercials or anything like that, it really is, it’s funded by our business and by our other podcast, All About Beachbody Coaching. And for me, I’m just eternally grateful for this opportunity because it’s allowed me to really create the life that I love to live.
It’s given me the opportunity to do what I want, when I want, with who I want, and even deeper than that, it’s allowed me to help others to create the same for themselves. It’s allowed me to help hundreds of other people become part time or full time Beachbody coaches, to leave that corporate 9 to 5 job and create passive income in their lives.
And really there’s nothing like that. It’s cool when you have success, it’s so much more rewarding when you help others. So I mention this or a few reasons, the first reason is, that’s actually the way that I work with people and mentor people. I don’t do anything outside of Beachbody coaching because I know that it’s such a powerful life changing tool.
So if you’re curious about working with me, interested in working one-on-one, interested in creating the type of life that you wanna live, I suggest swinging over there. The other reason is, even if somebody’s just curious, like you’ve heard about Beachbody, you know there’s a lot of Beachbody coaches out there. Maybe some of them you get a little annoyed with.
It really dives into what this business is really about, which is life transformation. So if you’re just curious, swing over there. And then the other piece is, if you’re really considering becoming a Beachbody coach, I highly, highly recommend you listen to that first.
Alright, much love guys. Again, that is the All About Beachbody Coaching Podcast, our sister podcast.
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