EP40 How to Get out of a Rut – QUICKLY
Today we’re talking about the Six Step Process for Getting Out of a Rut and the bonus piece – staying out of that rut. I dive deep into this because I feel that so many times we get in these ruts and we can move out of them quicker if we really understand the dynamics around it.
[0:00:14.5] KC: Welcome to another episode of The Business of Life, Keith Callahan here. Your host and today we’re talking about the Six Step Process for Getting Out of a Rut. Even deeper than that, the six step process or the bonus piece as part of the six steps is staying out of that rut. I want to dive deep into this today because I feel like so many times where we get in this ruts and we can actually move out of them quicker than the amount of time that we spend in them if we really understand the dynamics around it.
So that’s why I outlined it. It’s sort of a six step process that I do internally, it’s a process that I really come to embody and come to put in to practice with whatever is going on in my life because we all have these ruts, we all have times when things are not going the way that we want them to go right? We want to sort of move out of that rut. We’re going to talk about that today, we’re going to talk about the types of actions and also the philosophy around moving out of a rut.
The first thing I want to talk about is understanding and knowing that when you’re in a rut, it’s energetic. We just went all “foo, foo” and spiritual on us right? Important to understand this though because, when you’re in a rut, it’s not that you’re wrong or you’re doing something — sometimes we identify with the rut and we take it on. We take it on as it’s now part of us or we take it on as we just can’t get out of it.
There’s a lot of truth to that when we don’t understand how to get out of it and one of the first things to understanding how do you get out of it is to know that it’s an energy, know that it’s something that is attached to you but it’s not you. Know that we don’t need to identify with it as part of us, you can identify with it as something that has sort of attached to you right?
Almost like an easy way to see this is within professional athletes, especially golfers or basketball players. If you take golfers or basketball players. Why is it that sometimes they’re shooting so well and then other times they’re just off? It’s not that their physical body changed, it’s not that their mechanics changed or anything like that.
© 2016 The Business of Life 1
BOL 40 Transcript
A lot of times people will focus on that and they think that’s the only thing but understanding that it’s an energetic thing. Look at Tiger Woods Right? Look when what happened to Tiger Woods after that whole scandal came out and his wife divorced him. He’s in a rut that he hasn’t been able to get out of because the energy around that is so powerful he hasn’t been able to move out of it. He hasn’t been able to detach from that energy and get that energy off him.
The energy of betrayal, the energy of failure, the energy of he used to be the big, bright, shiny person that everyone looked at, he used to be golf’s poster boy and now he’s seen in a very different light from the majority of fans. If he was able to not identify with it and really understand, “Okay, this isn’t me at the core, I’m a good person, I’m a good human being and I’m going to move through this,” he may have gotten back to his game.
So I wanted to share that example and also like if you look at basketball players, if you look at sometimes they’re just so in the zone and they’re just hitting shot after shot and sometimes they’re not. Baseball players with hitters. We can see it very easily with sports but in your own life sometimes we get in a rut with our creativity, sometimes we get in a rut in our relationships, sometimes we just get in a rut in life, right? Things don’t seem to be going our way.
I want you to think about it as something that is energetic and not identify with it. The second thing, the second step is understanding that it’s going to pass. This is a big one and when we’re in this rut, sometimes it just seems so overwhelming so encompassing and it seems like it’s just never going to end, it seems like no matter what we do, no matter what we say, no matter the different types of actions we take, that we’re just not going to get out of this rut.
Unfortunately, if you believe that, that’s when you can stay in a rut, that’s when a rut can turn into something more than just a rut, it can turn into anxiety, it can turn into depression, it can turn into fear, it can turn into anger. It can turn into a, literally a permanent state. Again, step number one was, we’re looking at it, we know that it’s an energy. Step number two is understanding it’s going to pass. This energy attaches to you and if we don’t give it the freedom to pass and I’m going to show you in step three the actual thing to help it pass.
But if we don’t give it that freedom, if we don’t allow our hearts and our minds to be open and to know that, “Okay, this is just some place, this is where I am right now, this isn’t going to be
© 2016 The Business of Life 2
BOL 40 Transcript
forever, this is going to pass right?” Think about a teenager when the go through a breakup in a relationship, it is like the biggest most — they literally, they don’t believe that life is ever going to be the same. They are devastated. They don’t understand it’s going to pass.
But you, an adult who has gone through life, you understand that things in life pass but we don’t always hold that belief. Understanding that this is physical and also — I’m sorry, it’s like physically attached to you, it’s an energy and then understanding that this will pass or the two foundational steps to getting yourself out of a rut.
The third step, and this is going to sound super simple and you’re probably not going to — sometimes I believe that we live in a world that has created so much complications, so much confusion that we think if it’s simple, it’s not going to work. The opposite is actually true, the simpler, the better. Step number three is getting into action and movement.
I want to share a couple of stories to really help you to really sink this in, to help you to understand it and then if you’re in a rut or when you’re in a rut, that’s actually a great time to just say during this podcast, keep this one in the back of your head because if something comes up down the road, this is a great episode to refer back to. If you’re not in a rut right now, things are rocking and rolling in your life but down the road, you do get yourself in a rut, refer back to this one.
The spiritual path that I follow, I follow a Native American spiritual path and whenever I go to a ceremony, we have some ceremonies that are a couple of hours long, some ceremonies that are a day long, some ceremonies that are four or five days long, some of them even two weeks long. Whenever I go to a ceremony, it doesn’t matter what type of state of mind I enter the ceremony in, I always leave feeling lighter, happier, freer. Again, let’s say that I’m just in an energetic rut like I’m a little bit down, my energy is not high, I’m not feeling that good and I go into the ceremony.
One of the things that we do with the ceremonies all the time, I’ll do the one day ceremony so for example we do something called a sweat lodge and we do this and it’s usually a day long so we’ll get there at nine in the morning and we’ll leave at six or seven at night. When we get there in the morning, we get into action and movement.
© 2016 The Business of Life 3
BOL 40 Transcript
So we get there and we’re cutting down trees, we’re chopping wood, the women are usually prepping the food, it’s a very masculine, feminine balanced spiritual path. It’s like traditional where men are doing the big burly physical stuff and women are holding the energy, doing the — working with the kids, prepping the food, some of the women will be outside gathering kindling and then we build up a big fire and we put stones in the middle and then we build the sweat lodge.
So for the first three, four, five hours of the ceremony, we’re in action and we’re in movement and what it does is, it shifts you out of your daily life, it shifts you out of all the things that are in your mind, all the things that you’re attached to, really, it shifts you out of your mind and into your body. It shifts you from thinking and analyzing and all that into doing.
Then eventually, we start to get deeper into the prayer and after we’ve been in movement, in action for three, four, five hours, then we’ll actually get into the sweat lodge where we’re just sitting and we’re praying and again, you come out of there and you feel all light and bright and shiny and beautiful but what we’ve done is we’ve taken the action, taken the movement to get us out of our mental bodies, get us out of our analytical minds and get us in to that physical body.
Get ourselves grounded and what that does is it takes you out of the analyzing type piece. When we’re stuck in a rut, thinking about it isn’t going to change it. Getting into movement and getting into action is where the change is going to come. That was just a little example with one of our ceremonies and I’ve gone to, jeez I’ve spent 10 years, I’ve probably gone to well over a hundred, probably 200 ceremonies.
And never once if I went in and I was in some type of funk or rut or whatever it was, at the end of that, because of the movement, I would come out feeling clear, happy, just so much better, I understand now that it was energetic like the rut or whatever I want to call it, energetic and I understand that that energy is going to pass but it’s only going to pass with movement and action. You have to get in movement and action.If you don’t get in to movement and action that’s when you move from a rut in to depression and the anxiety and to fear and to all those more powerful energies.
© 2016 The Business of Life 4
BOL 40 Transcript
The second thing is that I wanted to share in the movement and action piece is if you’re — let’s say that you just haven’t been eating good, you haven’t been exercising that well and you’re in a rut right? Sometimes we’ll try to start a program, we’ll try to eat better and we have this little tries, we don’t get anything accomplished. Really understand that when you’re doing something, you have to put the movement in action in for a certain period of time.
When I shared the example about the sweat lodge, the movement in action really was just five hours right? Then we get in to the sweat lodge and then you feel better. But for something like diet and exercise, we can’t go out and run around or go walk a marathon and then all of a sudden that’s going to shift everything for the next four, five, six months a year.
We have to put in more time than that, we have to put in — and this is something you just intuitively, you’re going to have to figure out on your own, but you have to put in enough time that enough time in action and in movement to get yourself out of that rut. Number four is that it’s usually about one month for most things. If you’re in a rut with a relationship, if you’re in a rut with your physical, if you’re in a rut with your eating, if you’re in a rut that you’ve been drinking too much alcohol.
Whatever it is, if you’re in sales and you’ve been in a rut with your leads or something like that. In order to move out of most of those types of ruts and really establish different thinking patterns, establish different energetic patterns, it’s going to take about a month and this is super important because most of us quit before that month.
If I’m not connected right? What I mean by not connected, if I haven’t been putting as much time into my spiritual path, I haven’t been meditating, I haven’t been praying, I haven’t been doing something like that. I know that if I sit down and do that today, it’s not going to make a difference. Tomorrow, the next day, it’s probably not going to make a difference. I have to put about a month of time in and then it’s going to shift.
We can understand this with exercise right? We can understand this with diet, we have to put about a month in before we start to see the actual shift. The changes in our bodies, the changes
© 2016 The Business of Life 5
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in our energy, the changes in our attitude, all of that. Know that after about a month, the energy shifts and the shift that happens, think about it like a rocket.
The rocket’s trying to break through the atmosphere. The amount of energy in the beginning of that flight, the beginning of that journey, the shortest part of the journey is the rocket building up this energy to blast up and break through the atmosphere right? Once it gets through that part, that’s where most of the fuel’s expended, that’s where all the energy is expended. It’s through that part and then it starts to get easier.
But sometimes when we’re stuck in a rut, we want instant gratification right? “We just went through a separation, we just went through a divorce,” whatever it may be, “we just lost our job,” you have to know that getting into action and getting into is the way out but understand that it’s going to take time. Most things are going to take about a month, some things may take longer.
Maybe you’re an alcoholic and you’ve had drugs in your past, something like that, that’s going to take longer. It’s going to take longer to get out of that rut, to get out of those habitual patterns to move in to the space where the rocket broke through the atmosphere and now we’re sort of on cruise control right? This is going to be step number five now. Once you get off the ground and then you get into that cruise control spot right?
You’ve gone and you’ve had the diet and the workout program for a month and now you’re feeling good, now you have — what happens is the energy shifts, now you’ve got that, go back to step one right? That energetic piece that was holding you down, that was making you feel bad that you’re beating yourself up because you have this weight to lose. You’ve put in that months’ time, you’ve had that faith during that month, you’ve understood that it’s going to pass and now you’re starting to see the actual changes.
There’s an energetic shift that happens with that and it now becomes easier, you’ve broken thought that force field that’s holding you down right? Now you have to stick with it and keep the discipline and develop habits to stay with it long term. It doesn’t stop, it gets easier and sometimes you might be able to go a year or two and you’re just on total autopilot and then sometimes something may come in to bring you back down into your rut and that’s the time
© 2016 The Business of Life 6
BOL 40 Transcript
where you have to stay in movement and in action. Step number five is just staying, developing the habits, having the discipline.
Step number six is understanding, this is the bonus step. This is how the first five steps are how you get out of a rut, this is the — five is sort of an in between step. Six is how you stay out of the rut. Six is your Achilles hill. Six is the thing that’s going to take you out, six is the thing that you’re going to be coasting along and all of a sudden, bam! This huge energetic thing’s going to come at you and you’re going to go back to your old ways, your old habits and you’re going to let yourself get back in that rut.
Six is about identifying, you know you, nobody knows you better than anybody else. So we want to identify, what is that thing? What’s the thing that takes me out? What’s the thing that totally takes me out that makes me want to run and hide or that gets me really angry or that gets me really fearful or really sad or makes me want to binge on the things that I don’t want to do. I want you to identify what that thing is.
So the first step is identifying it and the second step is what’s your plan to combat it? Usually around, we’re releasing this episode in January, usually around this time, everybody has gone through their holiday rut and they’re making New Year’s resolutions. 90% of those New Year’s resolutions don’t come true, not for you. Not this time for you and the reason that it’s not this time for you is because you understand how to get yourself out but a lot of people understand that, a lot of people, everything that I just talked about, a lot of people understand.
They don’t want to keep it as simple as action and movement but here’s the bigger piece. They underestimate the power of their Achilles heel because what happens when that thing comes in and takes you over, you’re going to act from an emotional state, a reactive state and not by principles or commitments. When I’m talking about action and movement and staying with it, be committed to your action and movement.
Let’s say that you are in a rut with your eating and you’re working out and now you’re… maybe your yoga practice or your meditation. So many different things we can be in a rut with right? Now it’s the New Year and we’re going to start and we’re going to eat cleanly and we’re going to work out. What are the things that take you out?
© 2016 The Business of Life 7
BOL 40 Transcript
For me, that was one of my big, I actually started in December with a workout program and a diet program because I was in a rut. I knew that I was energetic, I knew that there was something attached to me, I knew that it would pass, I knew that I had to get in to action and movement. All through December, I actually did it on purpose so I can lose during the holidays rather than gain.
So through the month of December I got that, I got that shift, I got the rocket off the ground, everything’s going good, we’re coasting along now. But I know that when I started this, when I started my workout program in the beginning of December, I knew the things that I needed to do to make sure I didn’t get taken out.
I needed an accountability partner, you can check out one of our — I think it was this past Monday, I did mindset Monday on accountability partners. But I had that accountability partner, I had an accountability group and we worked together. Because I knew that if I wasn’t accountable to other people, that’s my Achilles heel. I’ll get there, I’ll get 75%, I’ll get 80% but if I don’t have that group holding me accountable to my actions and movements, I’ll stop the actions and movements. Make sense?
So understanding, what’s your Achilles heel, what’s that thing that’s going to take you out? And then setting up this boundary, setting up this fence, setting up these support systems for yourself along the way. Just to repeat all those, the first step, knowing that it’s energetic. Second step, understanding it will pass. Third step, get in to action and movement. Stop thinking about it, stop feeling bad for yourself, stop worrying when it’s going to change, how it’s going to change, what do you need to do, you need to get up and move. Number four, understand that after a month, energy shifts, usually after a month. Number five, developing the disciplines and habits to stay on course and then number six, knowing what your Achilles heel is and making sure you have a plan for when it pops up.
You can use this for anything in life, anything you’re looking to change, any habits, any rut that you’re in, you can use this simple system. Don’t complicate it. Like everybody wants to find all these big — it’s not complicated. The only thing like you have to understand all this, this six step
© 2016 The Business of Life 8
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system, then the only thing you need to do is take action. Action and movement, day after day, one foot in front of the other. Just keep doing the thing.
And your mind isn’t going to understand it. Your mind isn’t going to believe it, your mind’s going to tell you, you don’t want to do it. That’s not your concern, what your concern is, is did you do the thing, did you get into movement and action today? Just worry about today. Then did you do it tomorrow, then the next day. One foot in front of the other and that’s going to move you, that’s going to propel you, that’s going to get you through into the part where then it gets easier but you got to put the work in before it gets easier.
All right guys, short episode today. I love you guys, grateful for you always tuning in and again, the biggest compliment that we can get, that I can get and really what I’m looking for is the more you share this with your friends, with your family, the more people that we’re going to be able to reach. I’m going to continue to bring it 100% in 2016, we’re going to continue to have amazing guest speakers. I’m going to continue to bring you all the different things that I have done and am doing in my life to live this big, beautiful, bold life, this big, beautiful, bold dream that I have for myself.
Much love and we’ll see you guys on the next one.
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